God’s Solution For Worrying Mothers

Motherhood is one of the toughest challenges women face, whether we're raising a gentle soul or a tantrum-throwing type A personality. Part of the challenge of motherhood is worry.

Jesus cautioned His followers not to worry about tomorrow because today has worry enough, but mothers spend many sleepless nights worrying about their children, whether they’re safe, and what their future will be. Add to this the many stages a child goes through, and you find yourself wondering why God thought you were up to the task of motherhood.

Speak God’s Truth

In 1 Samuel 1:10-18, we see Hannah pouring out her heart to God. Her biggest desire was to have a child. We see no emotion in Abraham in Genesis 22 when he takes Isaac up onto the mountain to sacrifice him as God commanded. However, in Genesis 22:5 we get a glimpse into Abraham’s thinking when he tells his servants they will be back. So whatever emotion he felt, he countered it with the truth God had spoken to him in Genesis 17 when He promised to make Abraham a father of many nations, establishing a covenant with Abraham and his descendants.

Maybe that’s where the answer to the challenges of motherhood lies. Instead of worrying, the best thing we can do for our children and ourselves is speak God’s truth over them and to them.

How do we do this? It starts with being saturated in God’s Word and staying on our knees in prayer. The best guidance we’ll get is while being in tune with God’s directives.

His Promise

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 is one of the best templates for teaching our children about God. If God is truly everything to us, then it’s not difficult to incorporate that love into our daily lives when sitting, walking by the way, lying down, or when we get up.

If we don’t impress anything else upon our children, God's love is most important. It will undergird them in all of life’s challenges and decisions. Is this a guarantee that their life will turn out perfect—that no harm will ever come to them?

No. God doesn’t promise that.

He only promises to walk with us through life’s trials. And absolutely nothing is averted or solved by worrying. Even when the worst happens, if we keep our eyes fixed on eternity and the promise that one day there will be no more suffering, no more pain, no more tears (Revelation 21), then no matter what comes our way on this earth, God will provide a way to get through it.

Cover your children in prayer. Psalm 139:13-16 tells us that God knew them before they were even knit together in your womb. As much as we love our children, He loves them even more. What a comforting thought to deflate worry when it attacks!

His Love Sustains 

This year, as I mark my second Mother’s Day after my daughter’s passing, God’s love sustains me. The Biblical promises I have stored in my heart and soul for decades, some of which my mother instilled in me early in life, will help carry me through Mother's Day and again later in the week on Lindsay's birthday. His love will sustain you on tough days, also.

What difficulty are you facing with your children? Do you have a Bible verse or passage that gives you comfort and strength as you walk through this trial? Join the conversation below and be an encouragement to other mothers.

If you have a prayer request, please leave a comment or email me confidential requests. I've love to pray for you!

Have a blessed Mother's Day.

In Christ,

Laura

©Laura Hodges Poole

Photos courtesy of Pixabay.com

Four Words I Never Thought I’d Say

Every parent’s worst nightmare came true for my husband and me almost three weekends ago. As my tears flowed and sobs wracked my body, the agony spread to my mind as I tried to process the news…

…my daughter is dead.

It’s hard to see that in print—almost as hard as replaying it in my head constantly. Somehow typing that sentence and seeing it makes it more real. I wish it were as easy as backspacing for it not to be true.

One day, maybe I’ll be able to discuss the specifics of that weekend, but for now, I’m just trying to get through the day.

The word has not been invented for what my husband, my son, and I are feeling. Somebody smarter than I am will have to figure out what it is. For now, devastated and heartbroken come close.

An assortment of roses, lilies, wildflowers,
thistles, eucalyptus, vines, and other
plants that reflected Lindsay's
love of nature.

The blur of having Lindsay transported back to South Carolina, planning, and then having her funeral hasn’t quite figured out where to settle in my mind. Friends and family arrived, along with hugs, tears, and food. Beautiful memories were shared, and questions were asked that don’t have answers…for now. Maybe one day.

And right now, as difficult as it is to handle Lindsay’s passing, four equally powerful words prop me up each day.

My God is faithful.

He has wiped my tears. He has wrapped his arms around me. He holds my grieving heart in his hand.

My big “why” question hasn’t been answered, and maybe it won’t be this side of heaven.

Am I angry? Oh, that’s an easy one to answer. Yes!

But faith means trusting God, even when He allows tragedy in my life. It was a lesson learned when my sister committed suicide eleven years ago and still rings true today. If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you know my motto has always been “trust Him to get it right” when walking through trials. This means in all circumstances—even the ones I don’t like or disagree with. I don’t begin to claim to understand Him (Romans 11:33-34), but I do feel His love and comfort as I walk through each mind-numbing moment.

My family and I cling to the promise of Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Though Lindsay’s death doesn’t make sense now, we’re praying that one day some good will come from this tragedy. Meanwhile, we cling to the wonderful memories we have of her. She was a beautiful, bright child from day one, and her laughter still rings in my mind. 

Happier Days - Wedding Rehearsal Dinner 2011

Please continue to pray for James, Josh, and me as we walk through this dark valley. If you need prayer today, please share in the comments or email me confidential requests. I’d love to join you in prayer.

Standing on the Solid Rock,

Laura

©Laura Hodges Poole

Persevere—You’ll like what comes next

Persevering in the midst of a trial is difficult. Giving up is appealing, but realistically, is surrender an option? If not…

How do we persevere?

First, we admit our humanity and our inability to go it alone.

In the Bible, we see Moses, Job, King David, John the Baptist, Jesus, and the Apostle Paul, to name a few, caught between the proverbial rock and hard place—with the hard place usually being death.

Job said, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” (Job 2:9-10). We then see his humanity in the next chapter when he sits down and laments his own birth (Job 3). 

Jesus said, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” He prayed twice for God to take the cup of crucifixion from him but ultimately yielded “may your will be done” (Matthew 26:38-42).  

The Apostle Paul “pleaded” three times for his thorn to be removed (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). 

We see each of these men in a state of human despair, yet they didn’t rely on humanity to save them, because, frankly, it wasn’t equal to the task. So what was their secret to persevering?

If you read further into the book of Job, the Gospels, and the letters written by the Apostle Paul, you’ll see that when these men cried out, it was to God.

As Christians, we know our perseverance comes from God. He said His grace is sufficient for all things. He’s not going to allow a trial into our lives that He's unwilling to equip us for. We must "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and delve into the Word and see God's promises and instructions laid out for us through His apostles.

But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit. But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. Jude 1:17-21 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3 

That sounds like a pretty good formula for persevering. If we keep our eyes firmly fixed on Jesus, we won’t grow spiritually faint and lose heart. We’ll also be able to throw off that which tries to hinder us—namely Satan.

But what’s the purpose of a trial? Why doesn’t God just fix things? In other words…

Why do we persevere?

…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4 

…because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:3-4 

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 2 Peter 1:5-7 

Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. 1 Timothy 4:15-16 

In addition to the spiritual growth we experience, our ultimate reward will be in heaven.

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36 

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 

Are you walking through a trial and having trouble persevering? Be encouraged by God’s Word that He keeps His promises, He walks with you through difficult times, and your faith will grow. In turn, you'll often find yourself in a position to encourage someone on the path behind you going through a similar trial.

Best of all, you’ll stand before God one day and hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21),  

Do you have a Bible verse that has encouraged you during difficult times?

If you need prayer, please leave a comment or email me confidential requests. I’d love to pray for you.

God bless,

Laura

© Laura Hodges Poole

“Woman Climbing Rock” image courtesy of olovedog at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

“Young Woman Praying” image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

“Faith and Believe” image courtesy of the pathtraveler @FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Am I Ignitable?

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20 NIV

I hope you had a blessed Resurrection Sunday! What a beautiful day to celebrate the most amazing sacrifice anyone ever made for us. Our Redeemer lives!

Last week, Christians blogged, Facebooked, and tweeted Scripture, songs, poems, and thoughts on the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. On Easter morning, we reverently and enthusiastically worshipped, then hurried to family dinners, afternoon egg hunts, and of course—after-dinner naps.  

Celebrating Jesus’ resurrection on Easter Sunday is easy. As the sun set on Easter, I wondered where our hearts would be Monday morning in the wake of leftover ham, half-eaten candy baskets, and wrinkled church clothes tossed in the laundry.  

Over two thousand years ago, on Easter Monday, Christ returned to work—His father’s work. He forgave Peter and then instructed him to “feed my sheep.” Among Jesus’ other activities was the Great Commission given to the eleven disciples.  

We are His disciples now—with the Bible and Holy Spirit to instruct us.  

He makes His ministers a flame of fire. Am I ignitable? God deliver me from the dread asbestos of 'other things.' Saturate me with the oil of the Spirit that I may be aflame. But flame is transient, often short lived. Canst thou bear this, my soul-short life? Make me thy fuel, Flame of God. ~ Jim Elliot (martyred missionary) 

Celebrating Christ’s resurrection revitalized me, as I’m sure it did many Christians. Beyond that, it’s a reminder of my rebirth each time I enter into God’s presence. Yet, as I grow deeper in my spiritual journey, I’m cognizant of the necessary steps to stay aflame. 

If my flame gets diminished during dark moments, when I feel less enthusiasm or challenged beyond my human abilities, saturation with the Spirit’s oil through Bible study and prayer is the only hope for my flame burning brightly beyond Christian celebrations. 

As you go to the Lord in prayer this week, consider the condition of your flame and how it impacts those around you. Does it bring the hope of Christ's resurrection to the lost? 

Please join me in prayer for Christians suffering persecution around the world. This is especially true for those outside of the U.S., as witnessed by the terrorist attack in Pakistan on Christians over the weekend.

This simple prayer written by Jim Elliot has resonated with me through the years. Perhaps it will with you, too. 

Lord, make me a crisis man. Let me not be a mile-post on a single road, but make me a fork that men must turn one way or another in facing Christ in me. 

If you have a prayer request, leave a comment or e-mail me confidential requests. I’d love to pray for you.

Shalom,

Laura ✞

©Laura Hodges Poole

“Candle” image courtesy of 9comeback/FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
“Christianity Cross” image courtesy of graur razvan ionut/FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Learn, Pray, Act

“Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it, sauté it, whatever. MAKE.”~ Josh Whedon, author, screenwriter, director

When I was a little girl, I’d trek alongside my father as he worked in his garden that spanned an acre or more of our property. The soft, hot Florida sand squished between my bare toes, and sweat streamed down my little cheeks. Sometimes I ran to keep up with his long strides. Sometimes he slowed his step and took my hand. If I had one word to describe my father, it would be the word “doer.”

God calls us to be doers of His Word (James 1:22). How do we prepare to be a doer? Or do we merely allow the Spirit to guide us in certain situations through divine appointments?

Both.

Imperative to Christian life, ministry effectiveness, and spiritual growth is learning—absorbing God’s Word and other Christian books and resources—in order to share with others. If we really want to be led spiritually, immersing ourselves in scripture is the first step.

And we should want to do this, right? I’m the first to admit I have trouble wading through genealogy, or details of the building of the tabernacle and outlining of the law in Exodus and Leviticus. But hidden in those genealogy lists are Bible heroes—their stories are ones of persecution, hope, deliverance, and ultimately, the birth of our Savior. Instead of skimming over, think of the sacrifices of Ruth, the failure and forgiveness of King David, and the obedience of Obadiah. Somewhere among these stories is our story, as well.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

We also want to be led by the Holy Spirit. Actually, this is the ultimate goal. It’s only possible by coupling learning with prayer.

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. Zechariah 4:6

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2

Think about it. Which friend do you count on the most? The one you regularly interact with, knows you intimately—the good, bad, and the ugly—and still loves you? Or the one you exchange pleasantries with occasionally?

The same is true of our relationship with God. When you know Him intimately, learn His nature, and are able to trust Him completely, this resonates in our message to others. We can’t possibly share a God we don’t know on an intimate level. When the Bible says we are made in His image, His handiwork, we can believe it. He longs for a relationship with us. Spending time with Him is the most important part of our lives. 

Learning and praying alone isn’t the endgame for a Chrisitan. Yes, we want to draw closer to God and become more like Christ for eternity. But, we’re saved not only for ourselves but for others.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

That’s good news. God has prepared work for us to do. He wants us to act! It’s not enough to learn and pray, if we don’t use it to help someone outside ourselves. Humans are not static. Relationships are not static. God has placed us in family and friendships He deemed important. Whether it’s your neighbor, brother, or co-worker, God has a message to relay through you. We may not even be aware of what the specific message is, but God knows what that other person needs. You may be the one He has chosen to share it.

Explore whether God wants you involved in missions outside of your inner circle—foreign or domestic—physically or financially. We all have talents and spiritual gifts to share. Seek God’s wisdom in this. We are His workmen here on earth. May we always be one “who correctly handles the word of truth.”

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18 

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9 

Learn, Pray, Act.

• Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you ~Thomas Jefferson
• Never confuse movement with action. ~Ernest Hemingway
• Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe. ~Mitch Albom, author

What’s your favorite Bible verse that motives you to act? Is there one that caused a turning point in your life and called you to action?

If you have a prayer need, please leave a comment or email me confidential requests. I’d love to pray for you!

God bless,

Laura

© Laura Hodges Poole

Recommended resources available online for comprehensive Bible study:

BBN Radio Bible Institute. Free online classes in Bible doctrine, Christian living, Bible books and characters, and more with 117 divisions of study and multiple classes within each division. Certificates are offered with each completion of a division. I have taken a few of these classes and can highly recommend them.

Thru The Bible Radio. Tons of free resources including study guides, notes and outlines, and downloads are available to help you with an in-depth study of the Bible in five years. Even if you don’t listen to the audio, the other resources will provide you with tremendous study potential. I’ve listened to Dr. J. Vernon McGee for years on the radio and have downloaded and printed many of his resources.

Bible Gateway Scripture Engagement. “This section of Bible Gateway, created in partnership with the Taylor University Center for Scripture Engagement, outlines a set of practical exercises and activities you can undertake to interact more meaningfully with the Bible (Bible Gateway).” Many links are available to teach you how to successfully approach reading scripture. 

“Bible” image courtesy of Janaka Dharmasena/FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

“Young Woman Praying Sincerely” image by David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Action Screen Show Motivation” image by Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Live from The Cove (Billy Graham Training Center)

I don’t know if you’ve noticed lately, but my posts have been few and far between. Whether you call it a rut or just plain exhausted and stretched too thin—my ability to write dissipated. Not completely, but I’d sit at the computer, start a devotion, article, or even a blog post and after a paragraph or two say, “That’s junk,” and walk away. I’m sure those of you who artists and writers can relate.

This weekend, I’m attending a writers’ conference at The Cove in Asheville, NC.  Arriving on “the mountain,” each year is like stepping into the presence of God. Don’t get me wrong. Every day I live in His presence. He’s in everything I see and experience. But here…words don’t exist in the English language to describe the tranquility and holiness of this place.

I first stopped at the chapel, slipped inside, and sat on the back row while the guide talked to a couple near the front. When the guide finished, I moseyed up as she took their picture and then offered to take mine as they left.

She asked if I played the piano, which I do. She insisted I play the grand piano at the front of the chapel—the one played by George Beverly Shea. If you know me, performing in public scares me. Actually, performing in front of anyone makes me anxious. I made some lame excuse about not being able to play without music, and she pointed me to a stack of hymn books. To my surprise (and relief) I was totally at peace as I picked up the hymnal and flipped through, settling on the great Billy Graham crusade invitation hymn, “Just As I Am.” The music reverberated through the chapel, a beautiful tone like no other piano I’ve ever played.

When I finished, I strolled through the chapel by myself, spent some time in prayer, and then took a few photographs. You’ll notice from the photos there are no stained glass windows. The Grahams wanted God’s nature to show through the windows instead. Wise choice.

My desire and zeal for writing has been rekindled. I'm excited about writing and feel so blessed that God has gifted me to share His message through the written word. 

As I sit here at my laptop overlooking the beautiful landscape, a few snow flurries flutter by my window, I wonder—is this what Moses felt when he went onto the mountain to meet God (Exodus 24, 33-34)? Based on the radiance of his face when he came down off the mountain, certainly his spirit was renewed each time he fellowshipped with God in that special place and time.

The peace and tranquility I’m experiencing for this finite time is only a slice of what heaven will be like and what Moses experienced, but I’ll soak up as much as I can and return home with a renewed spirit to do the work God has equipped me to do.

Thanks for joining me on my journey.

God bless,

Laura

©Laura Hodges Poole

True Love?

Certain holidays, like Valentine’s Day, bring joy to some and sorrow to others. Though the holiday has traditionally meant expressing love to those we hold dear, if you’re not in a relationship, the mushy romance displayed can be both irritating and heartbreaking. Marketers tell us it’s the best day of the year to show love in a tangible way. Hmmm. A billion-dollar industry, Valentine’s Day, instead, should emulate love in its truest form.

But what is love?

Love is difficult to define. We know it by feelings, by the actions of those around us, by the longevity of those who choose to be in our lives, and sometimes even by the actions we refuse to tolerate in others—tough love. And sometimes we know it by its lack—between relationships, waiting for the “right one” to enter our lives.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Wow. Can you think of another love equal to this expression by the Apostle Paul?

To say Paul’s life was difficult as a follower of Jesus is an understatement. Some of his persecution is recorded in 2 Corinthians 11. Yet, he never whined about his hardships, nor did he blame them on God. Instead, he embraced the idea of hardships as necessary to a Christian’s life. James continued this theme in his ministry. In doing so, their lives embodied the idea that, in spite of our trials, God is still present.

So then, how can Paul—despite his willingness to endure hardships and concede God’s presence in them—take it a step further and equate the totality of his life with God’s love? There’s only one logical answer.

It’s a love that never separates. How could love be defined any better? There’s not a human equation that even comes close.

No matter what unknown tomorrow brings, God’s love will be present. I don’t know about you, but that’s a tremendous comfort to me.

Reflection: Being alone during any holiday is tough, but especially on Valentine’s Day. You may have experienced this and prayed for someone special to spend your life with. Yet, how does God’s love manifest itself in your life? Is there a way for you to show it in a tangible way to others in your community—either through volunteering your time or resources? Spend some time in prayer asking God to show you how His love can flow through you and into others. While you’re doing this, you might discover that soulmate you’ve been praying for. 

If you'd like prayer, please leave a comment or email me confidential requests. I'd love to pray for your needs. 

God bless,

Laura

This post is a selection from my new devotional, While I'm Waiting, available for 99 cents on Amazon.com. This devotional offers encouragement to those waiting for an answer to prayer. 

What people are saying about While I’m Waiting:

“Hope. It’s a foundation of our faith, but a difficult concept to live out. Author Laura Hodges Poole understands that, and this devotional gives us the roadmap for the path from despair to hope. She writes from the perspective of someone who has traveled that road. Her honesty and humility draws us in, while her wisdom shows us how living in hope truly is possible. This book will have a coveted place on my bedside table and will be a resource that I return to again and again.”

~Edie Melson, Co-Director of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and author of Prayers for My Soldier

“Author Laura Hodges Poole knows first-hand about the power of love and the gift of faith. With every inspirational word, she generously shares her innermost self. Laura openly writes about her personal trials and tribulations…the grief of losing her dear sister to suicide and the deep abiding love she has for family and friends. No matter the circumstance, Laura manages to draw from a well of love and hope. She eloquently expresses the depth of her faith and her very intimate relationship with God. Laura has “died to self” and trusts in our heavenly Father to guide her every step of the way. While I’m Waiting gives witness to Laura’s commitment to our loving Creator and her heartwarming devotion to Him.”    

~Dolores Ayotte, inspirational author of Up The Down Ladder: Simple Ideas to Overcome Depression and book reviewer

Click HERE to purchase

“Hearts Background” image courtesy of Feelart/FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

“Love Puzzle on Laptop” image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Is Venting Biblical? - Unity Within The Body of Christ

I’m honored today to welcome fellow Christian author, Jennifer Slattery, to share a relevant message about unity within the body of Christ. Jennifer has recently released her second novel, “When Dawn Breaks.” Information about this book is at the end of the post.

Welcome, Jennifer!

When wronged, it’s tempting to tell the world about our injustice, although in the Christian community, we like to cloak it as a prayer request, venting, or “seeking wise counsel.”

But is venting biblical or could it, in fact, lead to destructive division in the body of Christ?

Consider Ephesians 4:29 NIV: 

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

According to this verse, we need to guard our words carefully, speaking only words that “build others up” and “benefit those who listen.” We must remember it is not about us—our feelings, rights, or vindication. It is about knowing Christ and making Him known.

The greatest way we make Christ known is through love and Christian unity.

Why does Paul urge us to guard our words and purify our hearts? To answer this, we must read a few previous verses:

3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called. (Ephesians 4:3-4) 

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit.

When we vent, our goal usually is not to seek peace for the situation, as verse 3 commands, but instead, to make ourselves feel better. But at what cost? Our listener only hears one side, and most often, the “offending party” isn’t given a chance to defend themselves. Because of this, our listener is likely to develop judgments based on what they hear. Unfortunately, the “offending party” often learns of this and becomes uncomfortable around all involved. This creates ripples of disunity that lead to distrust that may be irreparable.

This might be why Jesus laid out clear instructions on how to handle conflict in Matthew 18:15:

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

He didn’t say, “Gather your prayer group and rehash the situation.”

Nor did He say, “Vent to your friends so you can ‘get it off your chest’ and feel better.”

No. He admonished us to keep the matter “between the two of you.”

According to Scripture, when wronged, the first thing we must do is address the individual, keeping the matter between us.

If the matter still isn’t revolved, we are to move to the next step.

But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses’ (Matthew 18:16) 

Basically, we are to keep the issue between as few of people as possible, making sure to include the individual. That’s not to say we can’t ask others for prayer nor that we can’t seek advice, but when doing so, we should keep things on a “need to know” basis. Our prayer group probably doesn’t need to know the story. In fact, most times you don’t even need to mention names.

In everything we do, may we put unity and love above all else, guarding our tongue so that we speak words that build up, encourage, and inspire.

What are some ways you’ve put this to practice in your own life, and what were the results? Have you been privy to a prayer-group gossip chain? How did that feel, and what were the results? Share your thoughts in the comments below so we can all learn from each other.

Jennifer Slattery writes soul-stirring fiction for New Hope Publishers, a publishing house passionate about bringing God’s healing grace and truth to the hopeless. She also writes for Crosswalk.com, Internet Café Devotions, and the group blog, Faith-filled Friends. When not writing, Jennifer loves going on mall dates with her teenage daughter and coffee dates with her handsome railroader husband.

Visit with Jennifer online at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLoud. 

When Dawn Breaks:

As the hurricane forces Jacqueline to evacuate, her need for purpose and restitution motivate her to head north to her estranged and embittered daughter and into the arms of a handsome new friend. However, he’s dealing with a potential conspiracy at work, one that could cost him everything, and Jacqueline isn’t sure if he will be the one she can lean on during the difficult days ahead. And then there are the three orphans to consider, especially Gavin. Must she relinquish her chance at having love again in order to be restored?

Read a free, 36-page excerpt here: http://issuu.com/newhopedigital/docs/slattery_sampler/1

You can buy a copy here:

On Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/When-Dawn-Breaks-A-Novel/dp/1596694238/

On Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-dawn-breaks-a-novel-jennifer-slattery/1120694122?ean=9781596694231

On CBD: http://www.christianbook.com/when-dawn-breaks-a-novel/jennifer-slattery/9781596694231/pd/694231