Is Venting Biblical? - Unity Within The Body of Christ

I’m honored today to welcome fellow Christian author, Jennifer Slattery, to share a relevant message about unity within the body of Christ. Jennifer has recently released her second novel, “When Dawn Breaks.” Information about this book is at the end of the post.

Welcome, Jennifer!

When wronged, it’s tempting to tell the world about our injustice, although in the Christian community, we like to cloak it as a prayer request, venting, or “seeking wise counsel.”

But is venting biblical or could it, in fact, lead to destructive division in the body of Christ?

Consider Ephesians 4:29 NIV: 

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

According to this verse, we need to guard our words carefully, speaking only words that “build others up” and “benefit those who listen.” We must remember it is not about us—our feelings, rights, or vindication. It is about knowing Christ and making Him known.

The greatest way we make Christ known is through love and Christian unity.

Why does Paul urge us to guard our words and purify our hearts? To answer this, we must read a few previous verses:

3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called. (Ephesians 4:3-4) 

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit.

When we vent, our goal usually is not to seek peace for the situation, as verse 3 commands, but instead, to make ourselves feel better. But at what cost? Our listener only hears one side, and most often, the “offending party” isn’t given a chance to defend themselves. Because of this, our listener is likely to develop judgments based on what they hear. Unfortunately, the “offending party” often learns of this and becomes uncomfortable around all involved. This creates ripples of disunity that lead to distrust that may be irreparable.

This might be why Jesus laid out clear instructions on how to handle conflict in Matthew 18:15:

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

He didn’t say, “Gather your prayer group and rehash the situation.”

Nor did He say, “Vent to your friends so you can ‘get it off your chest’ and feel better.”

No. He admonished us to keep the matter “between the two of you.”

According to Scripture, when wronged, the first thing we must do is address the individual, keeping the matter between us.

If the matter still isn’t revolved, we are to move to the next step.

But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses’ (Matthew 18:16) 

Basically, we are to keep the issue between as few of people as possible, making sure to include the individual. That’s not to say we can’t ask others for prayer nor that we can’t seek advice, but when doing so, we should keep things on a “need to know” basis. Our prayer group probably doesn’t need to know the story. In fact, most times you don’t even need to mention names.

In everything we do, may we put unity and love above all else, guarding our tongue so that we speak words that build up, encourage, and inspire.

What are some ways you’ve put this to practice in your own life, and what were the results? Have you been privy to a prayer-group gossip chain? How did that feel, and what were the results? Share your thoughts in the comments below so we can all learn from each other.

Jennifer Slattery writes soul-stirring fiction for New Hope Publishers, a publishing house passionate about bringing God’s healing grace and truth to the hopeless. She also writes for Crosswalk.com, Internet Café Devotions, and the group blog, Faith-filled Friends. When not writing, Jennifer loves going on mall dates with her teenage daughter and coffee dates with her handsome railroader husband.

Visit with Jennifer online at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLoud. 

When Dawn Breaks:

As the hurricane forces Jacqueline to evacuate, her need for purpose and restitution motivate her to head north to her estranged and embittered daughter and into the arms of a handsome new friend. However, he’s dealing with a potential conspiracy at work, one that could cost him everything, and Jacqueline isn’t sure if he will be the one she can lean on during the difficult days ahead. And then there are the three orphans to consider, especially Gavin. Must she relinquish her chance at having love again in order to be restored?

Read a free, 36-page excerpt here: http://issuu.com/newhopedigital/docs/slattery_sampler/1

You can buy a copy here:

On Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/When-Dawn-Breaks-A-Novel/dp/1596694238/

On Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-dawn-breaks-a-novel-jennifer-slattery/1120694122?ean=9781596694231

On CBD: http://www.christianbook.com/when-dawn-breaks-a-novel/jennifer-slattery/9781596694231/pd/694231

Are You Stuck in Haran?

I’m thrilled to welcome veteran Christian writer Jennifer Slattery to Writers’ Corner. I’ve enjoyed her writing and spiritual insight as a critique partner and friend. She discusses what we’ve all experienced as writers—getting stuck. However, we have a choice between settling or to start moving again. Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing with us.  

Are You Stuck in Haran?

by Jennifer Slattery 

A writer’s life is equivalent to white-knuckling a never-ending roller coaster, in the dark, without a seat-belt. Only, you never signed up for that ride, right? You chose the steady upward climb free of twists and turns, and after ten, fifteen, maybe even twenty years of spinning; you wonder if perhaps you’re on the wrong path. That still, soft Voice that called you into writing has faded behind a mess of rejection, disappointment and fear. What if you heard wrong? What if God changed His mind? Maybe He’s forgotten about you entirely.  

Or maybe you’re right where He wants you to be, following the long, winding, equipping road towards the goal, each treacherous step, every angst-filled tear all part of the training. What if you’re only one rejection away from the Promised Land? Will you persevere, walking by faith and the determination of a child saved by grace and destined for victorious living, or will you settle in the land of Haran? 

Last fall George Lakatos from Grace Community Church in Smithville, MO gave an awesome message (listen to it HERE).  

To sum it up, the message centered on two biblical characters: Abram (later called Abraham) and his father, Terah. Both men started in the same place, Ur of the Chaldeans. Both men left Ur to embark on a God-ordained journey to the Promised Land, but only one arrived. Terah, the patriarch died at the halfway point, in the land of Haran.  

Ur was a wealthy, sophisticated, comfortable city. It must have taken great courage for the men to leave. They had no idea where they were going or how long it would take to get there, but they had God’s promises tucked within their tunics. These promises carried them all the way to Haran, but for Terah, they couldn’t carry him over the hump and into the unknown.  

Terah continued as long as the road was easy. He and Abram followed along the Euphrates River, a well-traveled route with access to food and drinking water. They journeyed on foot, each step carrying them farther and farther from the land they knew. Day after day they marched on, the fatigue in their legs growing with each step, their doubts warring for their allegiance. Then they got to Haran, the halfway point, and Terah settled.  

Genesis 11:31b (NLT) “He was headed for the landed of Canaan, but they stopped at Haran and settled there.  

That is a powerful verse. Terah was headed for Canaan, but settled in Haran, where he died fifteen years later, never reaching his final destination. Never seeing the Promised Land.  

Have you settled? Are you stuck in Haran, on the halfway point from where you were when God called you to where He wants to take you? It’s time to leave Haran. Abram settled with Terah for fifteen years. Fifteen long, wasted years. But he didn’t stay there indefinitely. After his father died, he gathered his things and resumed his journey. 

Jennifer Slattery writes and edits for Christ to the World Ministries and is a freelance editor under Tiffany Colter, the Writing Career Coach. She also writes for the ACFW Journal, the Christian Pulse, Internet Café Devotions, and Jewels of Encouragement and co-hosts (with five other ladies) Living by Grace, a Faith-based Facebook community. Visit her online at http://jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.com. You can also connect with her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/JenSlatte, Twitter https://twitter.com/Jenslattery, or Pinterest http://pinterest.com/jenslatte/.