The Woman in Red

Today is the eleven-year anniversary of my sister Michelle's suicide. In some ways, it's hard to believe eleven years have passed. Other times, the painful memory is as fresh as if she died yesterday. I've written several times in the past about her battle with mental illness and my relationship with her. Today, I've asked my sister Teresa to share a few thoughts instead. This is her story. 

Woman in Red

The woman stood so close to me, I felt her breath on my face. She spoke softly, making it necessary for me to lean in closer and ask, "Pardon me?" She repeated in a very low voice, "I hope you get everything you want for Christmas." It was a hot July evening as I helped feed the homeless at the Plaza in downtown Gainesville, Florida. I regained my composure and said, "Thank you. God bless you." She smiled and walked away with her plate of food. She was such a tiny little soul, not weighing more than 100 pounds.

In 2005, six months after I buried my husband, my sister Michelle ended her twenty-year battle with mental illness. Too much for me to process at the time, I tucked my feelings about her death away neatly in a corner of my mind and continued trying to rebuild my life. Ten months later, as I walked into Publix supermarket after work, I began crying. Wiping my face, I left the store and sat in my car, trying to understand what had happened. Then, I spotted a bell ringer. It was Christmas time and he was happily ringing his bell and calling out, "Merry Christmas!" Michelle had been a bell ringer outside of that same Publix, before they offered her a job in the store. Memories flooded over me as I sat there in the parking lot and wept. There were a lot of tears that Christmas, as every store I walked in had a bell ringer.

Michelle

Michelle loved her children and her family. She loved the Lord and studied her Bible daily. She had a heart for others and would help anyone, if she were able. Although she didn't understand why she had to suffer with this disease, she had a strong faith. She hoped one day her life would change. And, we all prayed that that would indeed happen. Jesus was her Savior, and I have no doubts that she is now with Him in Heaven.

Even with expressing all of that, I realize through my work with the homeless that I have unresolved issues with her death. The mentally ill are out there, some on medication, some obviously not. It's sad to realize that these folks are plagued with nightmarish thoughts and voices only they can hear. These same people are shunned and sometimes even beaten and robbed by others who are stronger.

Recently, when Pastor Lem began his brief message to the line of hungry faces at the Plaza, a muttering began in the crowd. As he quoted John 3:16, a woman in red began cursing and pacing. Suddenly, she spat at my feet as she rolled off more obscenities. Uncertain of what to do, I stopped recording and began moving toward the serving line to take my place. Pastor finished his message and blessed the food, speaking louder to drown out the filth still being spewed in the air. The Woman in Red came through the line muttering, grabbed her fork, and disappeared. About thirty minutes later, we heard her shouting and screaming and knew she had returned. She continued her tirade for quite some time.

I thought then of my sister and the troubled life she had lived. During the periods of time she thought she didn't need medication, it was a disconcerting time for our family. Do not misunderstand. She did not run around shouting obscenities at a pastor. But, she did have some disturbing behavior. When she was on her medication, she functioned fairly well. This illness causes immeasurable suffering to those who endure it and to those who can do nothing but pray and watch their family member suffer.

I've asked God what He wanted me to see with this parallel of women. He encouraged me to question how strangers may have treated Michelle when she was off her medication. Were they compassionate? Did they shun her? Were they empathetic? Did they laugh at her? Did they take the time to listen to her? Were they kind to her? Did they love her as God instructed us to do in 1 John 4:7-8? "Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."  Verse 12 continues with, "if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." 

Those are powerful words! "His love is made complete in us." It was never intended to be an emotional love, but something much greater. The love God has for us is undeserved love; we did nothing to earn it! The same love God expects us to show His people: the widows, the orphans, the elderly, the incarcerated, the veterans, the alcoholics, the addicts, the runaways, the prostitutes, and the mentally ill. They are all out there, in need of His complete love.

God also reminded me to be aware of what we all do in His name. Are we going through the motions of our “Christian obligation?” Or, are we sharing His complete love with these people? 

"If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:3

Who was the Woman in Red? She was that tiny soul in July who had quietly wished me Christmas blessings.

Have you ever encountered someone that society considers “less than?” If so, what was your reaction? How did God speak to you through the encounter?

© Photo of "Woman in Red" and post by Teresa Alfieri (originally shared as a Facebook note)

Three Reasons My Father is the Wisest Man I Know

My father taught me, “Take my words to heart.  Follow my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them. Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you. Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!” Proverbs 4:4-7a NLT 

I’ve learned in almost 50 years on this earth very few wise men exist. I’m fortunate God gave me one of them—my father. In fact, he's the wisest man I know. 

Papa finds joy in life through his work, nature, and daily interactions with people. It’s not unusual to find him in the local convenience store with his Pepsi and pack of peanuts chatting with the clerks or regular customers coming in and out. He’s enlightened more than a few folks that putting the peanuts in the Pepsi and consuming them together is the way to go. J

Animals rank near the top of his joy list. My father loves animals. One of his favorites: the donkey. Perhaps this is because they’re kindred spirits. J They’re stubborn and strong animals who persevere despite their circumstances. He’s owned them for decades. The mama donkey who’d been with him the longest died over the weekend after becoming toxic while pregnant. While I listened to my dad’s account of her death, his sadness and regret shone through. But his wisdom and acceptance of life’s tough times reflected the character he’s always displayed.

I’m more than blessed to have Christian parents who instilled solid life principles in me. But my conversation with my dad made me stop and consider a few qualities that make him so wise.

My father is wise because he not only showed his children love, he taught us love.

Love is more than affection. In fact, it’s often confused with affection. Love is reflected in your everyday interactions with others. My father owned a cleaning company when we were growing up, which eventually evolved into a very successful landscaping company. All of us kids worked for him during our childhood. Back in the day, with nine people in our family, money was tight. We often collected glass coke bottles to turn in for 5 cents each to pay for a coke or treat at the store when we didn’t have an extra quarter to spare. Yet my dad never turned away a needy person. No matter how little money we had, or how far we needed to stretch it, he always had loose change or a dollar bill in his pocket to give the homeless people who crossed our paths. Working in a university town, this was a common occurrence. My dad had experienced homelessness and hunger in his life. He wouldn’t have been able to come to the dinner table to eat what little we had, if he’d walked past others who didn’t have a table or food to eat.

My father wisely showed his love by not making his kids the center of his universe or putting us first.

No, you didn’t misread that.

To everyone’s detriment, one of the biggest lies of modern culture is children should be made to feel they’re more important than anything else. We’re paying for it with a generation of narcissistic kids who are surprised and angry when a desire goes unfulfilled or they’re not the center of the universe as an adult. Or heaven forbid, when someone else's needs may come before their own.

Good parents make their children feel special, unique, and loved. But to instill the idea that one is special, and in fact, more special than anyone or anything else, isn’t good. My dad never attended any of my piano recitals during the six years I took lessons. As a teen, I resented him for that, but as an adult, I appreciate that his hard work ensured our needs were met and provided extras like piano lessons. This meant, as a self-employed businessman, work came first. In doing so, he showed me love by providing something that brought me joy. I discovered in my mid-20s that my dad loves music as much as I do when he bought a fiddle and started taking lessons. I realized his dreams had always come second to ours.

My father is wise because he not only taught us about life, he taught us about death.

Papa isn’t afraid of death and didn’t want us to be. After all, death is an inevitable part of life. When an animal died on our small farm, we all pitched in and buried it. Yes, tears flowed, but we learned life is temporary on this earth.

I remember the first time my daughter Lindsay attended a funeral with us. I struggled with whether to expose her to such a harsh reality at five years old. My dad settled it when he grabbed her little hand and walked right up to the open casket. He didn’t think anything of it. Doing so was natural.

Back in the day, when a relative died, the open casket stayed in the home and relatives sat with the deceased until the casket was removed for the funeral. Nowadays, parents shield their children (and sometimes themselves) from open casket funerals or viewings—and sometimes any kind of funeral or memorial service. In doing so, the perception of death becomes skewed. Often the first experience with death or a funeral is that of a close loved one or friend after becoming an adult. Then “Why me?” or “Why them?” questions ensue.

Shielding a child or ourselves from death also prevents us from dealing with the fact that we will all die, and then there is eternity to face. What will that look like for each individual? For some folks, it’s easier to live in denial.

And this brings me to the most important lesson Papa ever taught me about death.

For a Christian, death isn’t the final act but a transition into an eternal life better than our earthly life (Revelation 21:1-4, 22:1-5). Maybe that’s why I don’t fear death (1 Corinthians 15:55-58).

These are only a few of the reasons my father is a wise man. At almost 80 years old, he can be cantankerous and hard-headed at times, but I’ve often thought the only man more perfect than Papa is Christ himself. I thank God every day for the grace and love He showed me by giving me such a wonderful, loving father.

If you would like prayer for a particular need, please leave a comment or e-mail me confidential requests. I’d love to pray for you. J

I’m excited to announce the launch of my quarterly newsletter, “So You Want To Be Encouraged!” next week. In the inaugural edition, I’ll share my exciting publishing news and give away one copy of master wreath maker Nancy Alexander’s “Deck The Halls: How to Make A Christmas Wreath” Kindle book, just in time for the holidays. To be eligible for the drawing to win her book, you simply have to be a newsletter subscriber. The subscription box is at the top right-hand side of this blog. Hurry and sign up so you don’t miss the first issue and your chance to win Nancy’s book. I’ll announce the winner in the first newsletter.

God bless,

Laura

©Laura Hodges Poole

Be The Gospel

"The Plaza"
Gainesville, Florida

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. Romans 12:3

Regardless of our vocation or circumstances, as Christians, we all have a spiritual purpose. At the center of this is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Nothing is more important than sharing His grace and love.

As you read through the New Testament, the road to salvation is clear (John 14:6), as is the purpose of a Christian’s life (Matthew 28:18-20). This can manifest itself in many ways depending on your spiritual gift (1 Corinthians 12 & Romans 12:4-8). We can participate in a variety of Christian missions because they often utilize many spiritual gifts while sharing the love and grace of Christ. 

Recently, I was in Gainesville, Florida, for a family vacation and then traveled on to Hilliard, Florida, for an extended family reunion. (I’ll share more about that in a future post.)

While in Gainesville, I got to see firsthand one of the homeless missions my sister Teresa is involved in. Homeless are a huge challenge in Florida, particularly in the University town of Gainesville. This is too short of a forum to get into all the angles, but on one side you have fear, unease, mistrust, and on the other…well, basically the same. A large segment of the homeless population lives in or utilizes “The Plaza” downtown, designed for recreation and concerts. Many citizens don’t feel safe using The Plaza for its original purpose.

The city has attempted various solutions, some palatable and others not so much. In an effort to move the homeless from the downtown area, the city recently remodeled an old prison on the outskirts of town and renamed it “The Grace Center,” a one-stop facility to meet the homeless’ needs. (As of this writing, housing has been delayed 90 days due to lack of funding).

Convincing the homeless to make the trek from downtown has been a challenge. In the meantime, Christian organizations continue to go to The Plaza to feed the homeless on various nights while some have started serving meals at The Grace Center.

On a hot, humid Monday night, I accompanied one such group—“Be The Gospel”—to serve dinner at The Plaza.  

Pastor Lem sharing a short
message and blessing
before the meal

The leader of the group, Pastor Lemuel Simmons, gave instructions and prayed beforehand, reminding everyone that feeding the homeless wasn’t for our glory. It wouldn’t make us more holy or more acceptable to God. Our salvation is intact. Ultimately, our deed wasn’t to make us feel good. Our purpose was to love the people we were about to encounter. We’d love them with food, with eye contact, with smiles, with conversation, and our availability. In other words—Be the Gospel.

 

How often in our lives do we think about being the gospel? Sure, we can recite the Great Commission and the role we’re supposed to have out in the world to reach the unsaved. But what about the less desirable? The ones that make us uncomfortable? The ones that might even threaten our physical safety while we’re trying to help them?

What I discovered that muggy evening, as I have the other times I’ve participated in homeless ministries, is that you often walk away with more than you give. Being amongst these folks shines a spotlight into your own life, the things you take for granted, the things you waste every day, the fast track to nowhere everyone seems to be on. Jesus walked among the “least of these” in society with often little more than the garments on his back. His focus was on reaching the folks—not what was in it for him. 

I enjoyed the evening. I’m glad Teresa invited me. All of the folks served were grateful, some talkative, a few were angry and occasionally loud, while some quietly took their food and faded back into the scenery surrounding The Plaza. By the time the last spaghetti had been scraped out of the pot and the last glass of tea served, more than food had been shared. Jesus had been shown to the folks who live in The Plaza.

Me, Pastor Lem, & Teresa

Pastor Lem’s speech about not making the evening about us had been taken seriously. Yet, fellowship among society’s downtrodden had lightened everyone’s heart and step just a little—even if just for the night. And maybe—just maybe—that’s a little of what Jesus felt when he did the same. Because, you see, blessings are often a two-way street.

Sharing a laugh

If you’re not doing so already, look for an opportunity to Be The Gospel to someone. It might be the only encounter they have with the grace and love of Christ this week.

Do you already participate in a ministry? I’d love to hear about it. Share in the comments, along with any prayer requests you may have. Feel free to e-mail me confidential prayer requests.

God bless,

Laura

©Laura Hodges Poole

Showing Christ's Love

It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him. Deuteronomy 13:4

Am I the only one growing weary of the childish stalemate in DC? It kind of reminds me of the Cold War between the Soviet Union and U.S. Difference being—we’re all supposed to be on the same side.

Last night, I attended the Miracle Hill annual fundraising banquet in Spartanburg, SC. Their ministry serves the homeless and addicted seeking to start over and build new lives.

According to their website:

In 1937, Miracle Hill Ministries began as a small rescue mission in downtown Greenville. Since then, we have grown with the Upstate — expanding to meet the changing and diverse needs of homeless, hungry and destitute people. With your help we have become a significant provider of homeless services in South Carolina. 

With locations in four upstate counties: Greenville, Spartanburg, Pickens and Cherokee, Miracle Hill operates four adult shelters, three youth shelters and ten thrift stores. We are home to two highly successful, Christ-centered addiction recovery programs: Renewal for women, and Overcomers for men. And, we also license foster care families in the upstate. 

The keynote speaker was Ron Hall, co-author of the book "Same Kind of Different As Me." If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend it. It’s one of the most remarkable, motivational, life-changing books I’ve ever read. Definitely in my top 5. Or possibly top 3. J 

Ron, an upscale art dealer, and his wife Deborah worked in a homeless shelter where they met Denver Moore, an angry ex-con homeless man that everyone gave a wide berth—except Deborah. The three formed a bond that changed their community and eventually, the hearts of thousands nationwide. Here are a few Denver Moore quotes:

“Nobody can help everybody, but everybody can help somebody.”

“When people see homeless folks living under bridges, living in cardboard boxes, they ask, 'Why hasn't God done something about this?' One day, God is going to ask you the same question.”

“Mr. Ron, I never figured out why folks go to church on Sunday to worship one homeless guy and then on Monday ignore the first homeless person they see.”

To date, Ron and Denver’s ministry has raised more than $80 million for the homeless. I’m just scratching the surface of this amazing story of love and redemption, and it would take several blog posts to relay it. So…go buy the book! If you never read another book your entire life, this will be enough. I promise. J
 

Despite what goes on in Washington or around the world, what matters is that we “hold fast” to God and display His love that resides in us to others. That is the only security you will ever possess or offer to others in this world.

Whether this means volunteering in a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, your church, or helping your neighbor who’s struggling to feed her children because her husband’s been out of work for two years, you can do something to help. Offer to babysit, invite them to dinner, or just listen when she talks.

To paraphrase one of Ron’s comments last night: Anyone can hand someone a dollar. You make a difference when you take the time to show them the love of Christ.

What will that look like in your life today?

 

If you have a prayer need, please share it in the comments or e-mail me confidential requests. Our military personnel continue to be in harm’s way around the globe, specifically in Afghanistan. Information on one soldier we’ve prayed for over the past year is at the top of the blog, along with our permanent prayer list. Would you take a few moments to add these folks to your prayers today? Thanks!

Praise Report from Courtney after her appointment at Duke yesterday: It's a WONDERFUL day!!!!! All scans were awesome!! The PET scan was even better than the last one I had 6 months ago. I am getting off another chemo! Yay! That brings me down to just one which would be Avastin that I get every 3 weeks in Greenville. In another 6 months, they will do another scan....and if that's a good report, I will be done with ALL chemos!!! I go back in 9 weeks to do my routine MRI. God is so good! I'm blessed beyond blessed. Thank you all for the sweet messages and prayers!

There’s nothing I can add except Praise God from Whom all blessings flow! Hope you all have a blessed week.

Shalom,

Laura ✞

©Laura Hodges Poole

Book Description from “Same Kind of Different As Me” website: