“For
God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and
self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
My neighbor was murdered. By a
hit man. At eight o‘clock on a weekday morning. The victim lived two doors down
from us in a townhouse apartment complex in Charlotte, North Carolina.
At least a couple of times a week,
usually on my lunch break from work, my neighbor and I would cross paths and
nod or smile to each other. Actually, I smiled. He just nodded. Other than
that, our part of the complex was quiet. Not a soul around during the day.
That particular day, I didn’t
come home for lunch. When I arrived home that evening to my parking lot cordoned
off by yellow police tape, I was horrified. How could this happen? A man with
mob ties living two doors down? What would have happened if I’d left later that
morning? It wouldn’t have been unusual. As a temp employee, I had a flex
schedule, and at times, I left late. Would I have seen the gunman? I searched
my mind. Had I ever seen him? More importantly, had he seen me?
Too many questions with no
answers. The bottom line—I was afraid. The incident slammed
me back into the past I’d left in Gainesville, Florida, where only a few years before
we’d dealt with one of the most heinous serial killers in the country.
Terrorized for weeks in the University town after six students were butchered,
no one felt safe. (I wrote previously about the experience here.)
We all have fears—some have a reasonable
basis, others not so much. Even when we fear, or maybe especially when we fear,
that’s when our total trust in God’s ability to be present in the midst of that
fear is imperative. Furthermore, as Timothy stated above, God doesn’t give us
the spirit of fear. That comes from someone else.
I grew up in an environment where
fear was used to keep us safe, so I’ve always had issues with any kind of risk
taking. One of my biggest fears is making a wrong decision. I have to weigh out
all angles and ramifications of the decision before I proceed. Then I ruminate
on it some more. And some more. Then
maybe I’ll act on it.
Last fall, I found myself at a
fork in the road. Which path should I take? I wrestled and prayed
and, at the beginning of the year, God made it clear he wanted me to act.
Still, I dragged my feet and prayed. He gave me a specific Bible passage (Matthew 25:14-29) to make his point.
Then I attended a writers’ conference
in February at The Cove in North Carolina. The opening night’s keynote speaker,
Steven James, shared the same Bible verse, and his message parroted what God
had been telling me. I almost fell out of my chair. I half expected God to send
a blustering wind to blow me off the mountain and make me do what he wanted.
Thankfully, that’s not the God we serve.
Do you know what I discovered in
the six months that followed? God really is the most patient person in the
world. J
Although I began taking steps
down the path I needed to be on, I finally followed through with that tough
decision this week. And the fallout was exactly what I anticipated.
My feelings now? Relief. Maybe a tinge
of regret, mainly because I didn’t obey immediately, not because of the
outcome. Even so, God used that transition time to delineate my future path
more clearly. And it was a time of growth for me.
God was present in my struggle.
He was there when I made the decision. He was most certainly there when I finally
acted. God doesn’t lead us down a path and then desert us. Never, ever doubt
that He is present. Always.
“So
be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid…For the Lord your God will
personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 NLT
If you would
like me to join you in prayer for a particular need, please leave a comment or
e-mail me confidential requests. I’d love to pray for you. J
We’ve been
praying for a young mother diagnosed with brain cancer three years ago. After
brain surgery and intensive treatment, she had two years of clean MRIs and a
complete weaning of her chemo. On a follow-up visit last week, she had a
disturbing report from the doctor. (An update from Courtney’s FB page is
below.)
Dr. Peter's pointed out a spot that looks different
from 8 weeks ago on the MRI. It could be that Avastin may have been hiding this
spot and since I'm no longer on Avastin, it may now be visible. Dr. Peter's
said it could still be scar tissue. We will return for another MRI in 4 weeks
instead of the normal 8 weeks. We are to call back in 2 weeks to let them know
how I'm doing. Unfortunately, we have to wait to see if there's growth because
it is too small to biopsy to determine if it's tumor or scar tissue. It needs
to be at least 1 cm and she said that it's close to be at that size. I would
appreciate it if you would pray with me that this is just scar tissue. This has
hit me really hard today. It's definitely not what we wanted to see. Thanks for
the prayers.
God has been so
merciful and faithful in answering prayers on Courtney’s behalf over the past
three years. Please join me in praying for continued recovery and peace for her
while she awaits further testing. While you’re at it, please pray for her little girl
and husband. Thank you.
If you sign up for an e-mail subscription to my blog, please remember to check for the verification link in your e-mail inbox or spam. You won’t receive my posts until you verify by clicking on the link. If you don't get one, please let me know. Thanks! J
If you sign up for an e-mail subscription to my blog, please remember to check for the verification link in your e-mail inbox or spam. You won’t receive my posts until you verify by clicking on the link. If you don't get one, please let me know. Thanks! J
May God bless you all,
Laura
©Laura Hodges Poole
Police Line photo courtesy of
Simon Howden/Freedigitalphotos.com
Bending Road photo courtesy of
digitalart/Freedigitalphotos.com
Sunrise and Misty At Mountain
photo courtesy of Photokanok/Freedigitalphotos.com
